


Inappropriate

by Asoreleks



Series: Romanogers Valentine's Day 2017 [2]
Category: Captain America - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Avengers Family, Awkward Sexual Situations, Background Winterwitch, F/M, Fluff, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Natasha's not always so cool, Romance, Two Shot, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-14
Updated: 2017-02-20
Packaged: 2018-09-24 09:35:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9715631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Asoreleks/pseuds/Asoreleks
Summary: Natasha Romanov was a master-spy and a world-class seductress. She knew the power of a well-placed ‘accidental’ touch. But she was also human, and, sometimes when the man who unwittingly got under her skin was around, all her poise and training flew out the window and it was more like she was an eight-legged klutz. [Now with a second chapter due to demand]





	1. Inappropriate

**Author's Note:**

> By the time I had this idea, I just couldn’t stop having Valentine’s Day related Romanogers snippets pop into my head.

**Disclaimer: I do not own any Marvel Characters or the Marvel Universes they interact in. I also do not own any recognisable popular culture iconography mentioned or described within the following story. I only own the plot of the story that I have written, but I do not receive any monetary reward for its distribution. I write for self-improvement in my writing skills and because I love the Romanogers fandom. All I get paid in return is smiles, laughs and sometimes tears over the lovely things readers write in their comments.**

 

Inappropriate

 

Ignoring one’s attraction to someone else was a difficult endeavour if the person in question was a specimen example of human hotness. It was next to impossible if the person in question was someone you spent almost every moment of the day with in your working life and your domestic life. It was downright infuriating if the person in question happened to be someone whom members of the female gender and a significant number of the male gender openly drooled over when he happened to be in their vicinity. It was heart-breaking if that person happened to be the perfect combination of gentlemanly manners that little girls everywhere were raised to hold up as the bar to measure their suitors against, and enough of a bad-boy streak that equated to more towards adventure than consuming misadventure.

 

Steve Rogers was that combination, as well as all of the other above qualities and Natasha Romanov was completely cognisant of that. She had also finally come to terms with the fact that she had a thing for the handsome blond and that her feelings were not fading with time like a normal crush. If she was honest with herself, she knew she had liked Steve- in the romantic sense- since before the fall of S.H.I.E.L.D.

 

But Steve Rogers had become a close friend to Natasha, and she was not prepared to risk his friendship to a romance. She had terrible luck with those. Just ask men like Alexei Shostakov, her ex-husband, and Bruce Banner, her ex-undefined interest, about that and one would probably receive a sneer and an earful on her predilection to guardedness which had led to relationship sabotage. Natasha valued Steve’s presence in her life too much to try to seduce him.

 

But Natasha Romanov was also human, despite what the tabloids insinuated, and as her feelings continued to burgeon they warred with the cool collected composure that she had been trained to maintain.

 

If Natasha had chosen to seduce Steve, she would most likely have opted to ease him into accepting her potentiality as a sexual partner through ‘accidental’ brushes and by invading his personal space to linger a few moments longer than was necessary and accompanied such actions with raw, yearning looks. She’d inject serious sexuality into her exchanges with him and create a charged atmosphere. It was textbook seduction technique.

 

But Natasha had chosen to refrain from pursuing Steve. She’d seen him live with a broken heart for years, and Natasha couldn’t make him suffer through that again. Black Widows consumed their mates if a couple was kept captive in proximity for too long.

 

So Natasha decided to continue supporting Steve as a friend. And Steve seemed glad for the friendship he had asked of her years ago. She fit in well in the family of friends that had expanded around Steve. Natasha even got on well with Bucky despite their rollercoaster past together after the former Winter Soldier had joined the Avengers Team officially once amends were made and legal issues were resolved.  

 

Life was going as well as it could for Natasha, but she also knew that Murphy had it out for her. Things could change at any moment and it was at the beginning of the February after the team returned from exile that they did.

 

@>-`-,----

 

Clint Barton, Natasha’s best friend, was still retired but after the little ‘Civil War’ between the Avengers Team members the previous year he had realised that his waist was spreading a little too fast for someone who used to save the world. As a result of this realisation, he decided that he would join Natasha in conditioning training at the Avengers Secret Compound twice a week. In those sessions their usual banter and horsing around ensued in between their competing.

 

It was the first Saturday of February and Natasha was taking a break from training with Clint. Wanda was working on her gymnastics while Vision was helping the young woman with notes on the geometry of her attempts. Steve, Sam and Bucky were lifting weights while singing along ridiculously to annoying pop dub-step tracks. Natasha missed the underground garage music of the turn of the century that had inspired the repetitive mainstream tracks, but kept her opinion to herself. Steve’s karaoke was cute, and Sam and Bucky were hilarious.

 

_SMACK!_

 

Natasha whipped around to face the deranged being that had assaulted her rump and found Clint grinning at her with a twisted hand towel in his hands.

 

“Ah, it’s on, old man!” Natasha growled as she launched herself at him. Clint skipped away laughing.

 

“Hey! There are two almost centenarians across the gym- I’m not old!” Clint protested as Natasha clipped him on the ear with the hair band she’d pulled off of her ponytail to use as a stinging projectile.

 

“Yeah but they’re busy doing impressive cross-lateral push-ups while Sam sits on their backs,” Natasha pointed out as she scrambled away from Clint and his towel. She aimed to swing up a gymnastics bar but her hand was sweaty and she slipped. Clint got her in her left eye accidentally. There was an awkward pause as Clint realised he was truly in trouble before he sprinted off at top speed with Natasha growling in hot pursuit and her one eye still shut from the sting.

 

Clint proved that his training had restored his ability to escape and evade as Natasha chased him around the gym facilities for a few minutes. But Natasha was still the best, and when she had caught sight of the tail-end of him disappearing around a pillar just outside of the main atrium ahead of her and not reappearing again on the other side, she knew he had hid behind it. Natasha quieted her step but kept up her pace as she approached the pillar. She was going to spank Clint so hard he would scream.

 

Natasha reached the edge of the pillar and drew her hand back in preparation before she darted around the pillar and swung with full-force and spanked the firm butt of… Steve?!

 

It was rather admirable that Steve did not yell out, but rather swallowed a high-pitched keen. He’d been taking a sip of water from the fountain on the other side of the pillar. Natasha stood frozen in a lunge with her arm extended as she realised with one wide-open eye that it was not her best friend whose butt she had spanked in revenge, but her secret impossible crush’s.

 

“Oh my gaw- Fuck! I’m so sorry Steve!” Natasha exclaimed as she stood straight with alacrity. “I thought you were Clint.”

 

“Well, I guess that’s why he’s up in the corner near the ceiling,” Steve replied with a smile that was more like a grimace as he stiffly turned to face Natasha. The redhead turned her head up to glare viciously at Clint who was snickering down at her. “And probably why he used my shoulder as a boost post.”

 

“I’m so sorry, Steve,” Natasha apologised. “We’re so sorry, Steve.”

 

“I’m not! I didn’t do anything,” Clint laughed as he fell to the ground. “And Nat you got to cop-a-feel of America’s most-wanted ass for free.”

 

Natasha punched Clint in the shoulder for that remark before storming off to set the Clint’s training levels on the simulation computer they were due to use to maximum pain.  

 

@>-`-,----

 

It was only five days later when Murphy taunted Natasha again. She’d gotten over her embarrassment at smacking Steve mistakenly in such a tempting area and filled up one of his kitchen cupboards with boxes of Snickers bars- his favourite snack- as gesture of goodwill. Steve had told her not to worry about the mistake, but he couldn’t resist Snickers so he accepted them with a small anticipatory grin.

 

The gang were horsing around before movie night and Sam, Bucky and Thor were throwing a hacky-sack mini-football around. Surprisingly, Thor really sucked at playing catch with the small brown oval despite the fact that his weapon of choice was a hammer that he threw around. Perhaps Asgardians were terrible at playing catch in general. Natasha wondered if that was the reason that Mjölnir worked like a boomerang and returned to the thrower. 

 

She was starting to grow irritated with the small soft object bumping into her head every time she moved while she set up the popcorn and snacks on the coffee table with Rhodey. Steve was seated on the sofa fiddling with the remote trying to find the movie that they had agreed to download. Natasha knew that Wanda was coming in with a tray of their drinks, and although she knew the young woman’s powers and reflexes would help her maintain her balance, she was still peeved that the boys were carelessly throwing toys around near their heads.

 

Thor had the mini-football again and he was due to throw it to Bucky. Natasha decided that enough was enough and decided to intercept the ball on its path. But soft toys have a mind of their own when they travel through the air after leaving the humanoid hands that launched them. Natasha snatched out at the ball, but it clipped against her thumb and bounced off. She tried to correct her fumble but the ball bounced off again and as she stretched further Natasha lost her balance.

 

The ball was finally contained by Steve’s outreached hand, but Natasha had fallen onto his chest and her hand had unfortunately caught on the edge of Steve’s button-down shirt. She’d managed to rip Steve’s shirt open and popped the buttons off. Natasha was cupping Steve’s pectoral. Her thumb was on his nipple. It was winter- why wasn’t he wearing a vest? Why was her thumb moving back and forth?!

 

“Talk about dames throwing themselves at ya, Stevie,” Bucky chuckled. Natasha snapped her head up to glower at Bucky wishing she had throwing blades on her person. She quickly entangled herself from Steve and apologised.

 

“Nata, are you _actually_ blushing? There it is- look at it,” Bucky teased as he pointed out the slight pink tinge in her cheeks.

 

“Shut up, Yasha!” Natasha grumbled as she threw a cushion (with more accuracy than Thor possessed) at Bucky, which hit him in the stomach.

 

“Bucky, why do you have to be such a punk?!” Steve griped as he helped Natasha up and righted his shirt. The hacky-sack mini-football was confiscated and added to the list of banned items prohibited from the rec-room. Natasha bought Steve a brand-new shirt the next day.

 

@>-`-,----

 

As fate would have it, the Avengers were called up for duty on the fourteenth. Aliens didn’t care about Valentine’s Day when Earth’s resources were ripe for the picking. The particular species that was attacking Earth this time were reptilian in appearance and kept trying to spit pearlescent mucus at their opponents. The Avengers were not taking any chances with the unknown substance and made sure not to come into contact with it.

 

The Black Widow and Captain America had partnered in the field once more and were cleaving their way through the enemy. They had been surrounded on the ground floor of a skyscraper, but they were gaining the upper hand now that War Machine and Falcon had taken out the alien mother-ship.

 

Natasha punched a reptile alien in the mouth, and unfortunately it was in the process of launching a spit globule at her. The white mucus covered her gloved fist, but thankfully it hadn’t started to burn or anything terrible. Natasha shook the goo off her hand and continued to fight, shooting the attacking alien in the head before swivelling around to join her partner to fight in tandem again.

 

Natasha grabbed hold of Steve to swing herself around his body, easily finding purchase so that she could launch her body feet first at a line of encroaching lizard warriors. Her feet were about to knock into the first one when suddenly she was yanked from her projected path and took Steve stumbling away with her weight. Thankfully Steve was armed and quickly took out the nearest attackers. Natasha tried to get to her feet and pull away from Steve but his weight tugged her back. She looked down to see where she was stuck and discovered that her hand was glued to the middle of Steve’s crotch and she was presently cupping his balls.

 

“This goo is glue!” Natasha yelled.

 

“What?” Steve yelled back.

 

“The goo is glue!” Natasha repeated. “My hand is stuck to your balls!”

 

Steve coughed in surprise and glanced down quickly before returning his attention to the fight.

 

“Take the gun at my hip and continue on,” Steve instructed. “I’m not about to drop my pants right now.”

 

“I’ll slip my glove off as soon as I can,” Natasha replied as she followed his instruction. “Sorry, this is totally inappropriate.”

 

“It’s just bad luck,” Steve replied uncomfortably as they fought as one with Natasha’s hand stuck on the groin area of his uniform. Luckily they had a natural affinity for fighting together and they swiftly defeated their opponents. The rest of the reptilian aliens fled to the remaining ships that were leaving the planet, and Natasha and Steve were left panting in the dusty aftermath of the battle.

 

As soon as she gauged their surroundings to be safe enough, Natasha returned her attention to the embarrassing problem _in_ hand while Steve kept a look out.

 

“It’s seeped through onto my skin,” Natasha complained as she tried to jerk her hand away.

 

“Er, Nat please,” Steve mumbled timidly as her hand rubbed against his groin.

 

“Hold on, maybe it’s not completely dry and I can yank it away,” Natasha theorised as her ministrations grew bolder.

 

“Um, Nat, I don’t want you to rip your skin off, haha,” Steve tittered nervously, “but please just hold still.”

 

“Wait, let me get a better look,” Natasha suggested as she dropped to her knees and brought her head closer to his crotch to examine the area of their joining more closely.

 

“Natasha!” Steve hissed as the determined and oblivious redhead continued to pull her hand away only to have it ricochet back to its starting point.

 

The sudden enlargement of the area before her face got Natasha to stop at last. She jerked her head back in surprise, hoping to give Steve some room to recover from that humiliation- although it appeared he would need quite a bit of room. It turned out to not be a viable possibility as Natasha’s hair had caught on Steve’s zipper when she had been examining the solidified goo that stuck her hand to his privates.

 

“My hair’s caught,” Natasha informed Steve as she endeavoured to keep calm. The red-haired Avenger pulled her head back in the hope that it was just a few strands that kept her in place. It turned out that a whole chunk of her hair had somehow become entangled.

 

“It’s a whole lot, Steve. I don’t think I can do it,” Natasha whined.

 

“It’s okay, Nat. Just take it slow- I know you can do this,” Steve reassured her.

 

“Hold on a second, I’ll just cut it,” Natasha instructed as she fiddled with her utility belt on her hip using her free hand. She needed a blade to cut her hair.

 

“No!” Steve yelped. “That’s totally unnecessary. Just stop… Ungh… Stop moving, Nat!”

 

Steve grabbed a fistful of Natasha’s hair to cease the incessant bobbing of her head as she tried futilely to pull away from his crotch. It was at that moment that Murphy decided to grin and wave spirit-fingers at the pair. 

 

“Holy crap!” a familiar voice muttered behind Natasha. Both she and Steve froze as they listened to a pair of heavy boots scrunch away quickly over the gravelly debris.

 

“Please don’t tell me that was Tony,” Natasha groaned low.

 

“That was Tony,” Steve confirmed. Within the hour the entire Avengers Team would likely be getting a gossip blast about the celebratory post-battle adventures of the Captain and the Widow in a special edition of the Avengers Team email newsletter that Tony had taken to amusing himself with. “Let’s just get your hair out of this zip. It’ll be pretty difficult to attempt silencing Tony with your head still in my crotch and your hand stuck on my… uniform.”

 

Natasha acquiesced and let Steve unthread her hair carefully from his zipper. It really would have been silly for her to chop off a chunk of her hair on the top of her head for something like this. They weren’t in danger, and wearing a wig or headband in her life outside of work to cover up a bald patch would get needlessly annoying.

 

Natasha tried to stare at the floor, or at Steve’s boots or at her own free hand. She was tempted to examine the dried goo that bonded her gloved hand to Steve’s crotch, but the tent situation hadn’t abated. It was difficult enough to ignore the bulge that brushed against her cheek and not move against it in any way that could be construed as caressing. In a different context, Natasha’s mouth would be watering, her eyes mischievous and her cheeks flushing in arousal. Instead she was fighting a lost battle against the blood in her skin that wanted to let the world know of her mortification by marking her scarlet. It was probably because of the frustration and panic that she was feeling that she momentarily lost her damn mind and blurted out unreasonable sentences when Steve next spoke to her.

 

“There, you’re free,” Steve huffed in a strained voice.

 

Natasha popped up immediately and began to apologise: “Steve, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have gotten any of that goo on my hand. I should have been more aware before I attempted that move. I put us both in danger and now we have to beat up Tony and maybe find someone who can hypnotise the team to make them forget whatever he’s going to tell them. I don’t know what’s wrong with me lately- I’ve been such a klutz. It’s totally unacceptable and you’re probably going to want to file a sexual harassment complaint against me. If it’ll make you feel better then you can do the same thing to me, because y’know an eye for an eye stuff and all.”

 

“What?!” Steve hissed in a high pitch.

 

“All those horrible accidental touches I keep inflicting on you- do them to me,” Natasha ordered with a resolute frown. Immediately after the words left her mouth, Natasha realised how perverted she came across as. She sounded like she was pressuring Steve to touch her sexually. Steve’s confused grimace said it all: At this rate she was going to have to sit through the sexual harassment awareness seminar six times over and face suspension from the team. 

 

“Aw Steve, I’m sorry,” Natasha whined. “I’m going to shut up, I’m shutting- Eep!”

 

Natasha stared wide-eyed at Steve. Her ass was smarting. He’d smacked her butt. His left hand was still on her butt and massaging her cheek in a way that read as pleasurable in her brain. Natasha’s jaw dropped open in surprise, but her amazement was short-lived before it was topped again when Steve’s right hand slid up her waist and over her ribs to cup her left breast and knead it appreciatively. A little gasp escaped her lips as her nipple pebbled under her catsuit.

 

Before Natasha could quite grasp what had just happened she found her back against the wall. Steve pushed his right foot between her feet and nudged her legs open. She could feel the heat of his erection pressed firmly against her hip. His left hand moved to her right breast and his right hand slid down between her legs to stroke teasingly over her covered pussy. Natasha whimpered as her eyes fluttered in response to the sudden pleasure. Steve had managed to get the right amount of friction concentrated over the growing wetness between her lower lips. He chuckled breathily in her ear as he thrust his hips minutely against her in time with the ministrations of his right hand. Saccharine excitement began to build in Natasha’s core and she clawed at Steve’s right shoulder with her free left hand while she closed her eyes and bit her bottom lip to stifle a moan. All too soon Steve pulled away, although it was impossible for them to separate fully since Natasha’s hand was still glued to his crotch.

 

“Even?” Steve asked with a smirk.

 

Natasha was so dazed she did not have the wherewithal to produce any other answer than the confirmation: “Even.”

 

“Yeah, give me a few minutes to think of baseball stats before we go find medical to help us out of this jam,” Steve rumbled before biting his bottom lip as he leered at her. He shook his head and tore his eyes away from Natasha to stare up at the cracked ceiling. Natasha decided it would be best if she distracted herself as well and set about trying to mentally list as many models of firearms as she could.

 

Getting separated by the medical staff was as embarrassing as could be expected. Steve had to carry Natasha in wrapped around his torso because it would look way too compromising if any member of the media got a shot of the Black Widow walking next to Captain America while she publically palmed his dick through his uniform. They did not need to add to the ever-fraught tensions between their birth nations.

 

Nick Fury and Maria Hill actually laughed at them out loud when they came in after the battle. Thankfully, none of their team members were present to see the sight but that meant Tony was also still at large. Natasha and Steve requested their phones immediately to see if any wild emails had been circulated and stared at their phones while the medical staff endeavoured to separate Natasha’s skin from the alien adhesive goo. There were fears that the goo might have seeped through the fabric of Steve’s uniform and bonded to his skin. That would become exceedingly uncomfortable if that were the case.

 

Twenty minutes into the consultation and minimal progress had been made. The medical team- who had admirably not even cracked any smiles over the situation- had taken samples of the goo and were running tests in the lab to formulate a substance that would dissolve it without injuring Natasha and Steve. Natasha and Steve were doing their best to ignore each other. Natasha assumed it was partly because of awkwardness on Steve’s side, although on her side it was mostly due to her effort not to become aroused again. She was tempted to convince Steve to resume his attentions to her body with a sultry kiss.

 

Natasha was jerked out of her mischievous musings by Steve’s phone ringing. The pair jumped in surprise and Steve fumbled to check the screen.

 

“This better not be Buck or Sam,” Steve muttered as he righted the phone to see the screen with one hand and instinctively grabbed Natasha’s waist to steady her from the state of imbalance her surprise had launched her into.

 

“Oh hey, Sharon,” Steve greeted. Natasha’s stomach dropped at the other woman’s name and her stomach twisted into further knots at the sound of Sharon’s voice on the other end of the line. Natasha had always encouraged Steve to pursue the blonde. And a week ago she had seen Bucky slap Steve on the back in a congratulatory gesture after she had seen Steve and Sharon parting after a short conversation in the lobby of the Avengers’ Tower. Sam had ruffled Steve’s hair and the trio had rough-housed playfully as they made their way out of the Tower. Steve must have finally asked the blonde agent out, and now Natasha was ‘the other woman’. She was probably holding up their Valentine’s plans with her damned thieving right hand that was stuck to his family jewels! She’d given him a boner on Valentine’s Day through her foolishness when he was due to romance Sharon.

 

“Yeah, I’m alive,” Steve laughed. “Just got caught up in a sticky situation and I’m stuck in medical.”

 

“Are you hurt?” Natasha could hear Sharon ask worriedly on the other end of the line.

 

“Nope, I’m literally stuck to a teammate,” Steve laughed. “The labs are still trying to figure out how to separate us without burning our skin off.”

 

“Oh, then maybe we should cancel our plans,” Sharon chuckled nervously.

 

“We probably should,” Steve sighed. His eyes darted to Natasha’s face, but she pretended to be enraptured by the medical utensils on the tray next to them.

 

“Listen, Sharon-”

 

“Listen, Steve-”

 

Both blonds had spoken at the same time and then both had giggled before Steve encouraged Sharon to continue.

 

“Um, Steve, I feel terrible, but do you think we could cancel our date- permanently?” Sharon requested anxiously.

 

“You met someone?” Steve probed.

 

“Yeah… I’m sorry, but I have a really good feeling about him,” Sharon confessed.

 

“It’s alright. I realised I have a really good feeling about someone else too,” Steve assured her. He looked back at Natasha and reached up to tilt her face to his. “In fact, I’m kind of stuck on her.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How did I write this whole thing in a couple of hours? I hope it’s okay. Happy Valentine’s Day <3


	2. Really Inappropriate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So because people requested a sequel, and because I’m actually astounded by the number of hits this story got… Ta Da! More Inappropriate hijinks.

 

**Disclaimer: I do not own any Marvel Characters or the Marvel Universes they interact in. I also do not own any recognisable popular culture iconography mentioned or described within the following story. I only own the plot of the story that I have written, but I do not receive any monetary reward for its distribution. I write for self-improvement in my writing skills and because I love the Romanogers fandom. All I get paid in return is smiles, laughs and sometimes tears over the lovely things readers write in their comments.**

 

Inappropriate Chapter Two: Really Inappropriate

 

“Well, aren’t you going to open your package?”

 

Natasha Romanov didn’t buy the innocent look of curiosity on Tony Stark’s face. Him badgering her about the medium-sized box covered in high quality white and silver gift wrap sitting on the counter next to her only added to her suspicion. The pair of them were seated in the Avengers’ Tower Apartment Suites communal level’s kitchen the morning after Valentine’s Day eating what could only be called brunch at that hour, and Natasha had yet to receive an Avengers’ Gossip Blast email from the goateed man.

 

“If it’s something annoying from you, then I’ll fill your garbage disposal with jock straps,” Natasha threatened casually as she put down her spoon and pushed her bowl of cereal aside. She had been craving a full fry-up, as she usually did on the day after a major battle, but she did not have the energy to do anything beyond combine cold milk with Coco Pops that morning. The redheaded Russian had spent the better part of the night waiting for the lab to come up with something to dissolve the alien goo that had gotten her stuck to Steve’s uniform’s crotch. When they’d finally been separated safely, she and Steve had awkwardly orbited each other chit-chatting until they had miraculously ended up spending the night together in her bed… talking.

 

“I know four burly dudes who sweat often,” Natasha reminded Tony, to add emphasis to her threat.

 

“Wait, four?” Tony questioned. “Does that mean someone on the team goes commando?”

 

“No, that means I only count four of you as burly, and it should be obvious who falls under that category,” Natasha sneered. She saw what Tony was about to do with that ‘commando’ comment and wasn’t about to fall into that trap. She shifted her attention to the wrapped gift on the counter and found that it had a little matching card, which blended into the swirling patterns of the paper, attached. She opened it and read the contents. “This says it’s for me _and_ Steve.”

 

“What’s for me?” Steve’s voice called from behind her. He was still in his pyjamas: a blue t-shirt and navy sweatpants; and he headed the gaggle of their comrades who had all come down in the lift together to find the breakfast supplies that were guaranteed in the communal level’s kitchen. Wanda sleepily hitched a piggy-back ride on Bucky’s back and Sam dragged his feet behind them.

 

“There’s a package here for us,” Natasha gestured to the box as she turned to face him. He didn’t look as irritatingly fresh-as-a-daisy as he usually did the morning after a battle, but Steve was a still pleasant sight to behold. He’d been a pleasant sight to watch fall off to sleep, and he didn’t mind that Natasha had traced over his features with her index finger as he did. Steve frowned and sauntered over to stand next to her. His hand came to rest gently on her lower back as though it was the most natural thing in the world.

 

The rest of the team gathered around the kitchen island and flopped into their respective seats as Steve looked over the package. Scott appeared, squinting in vexation at the existence of the sun and propelled himself forward to thunk his head down on the counter in a place next to Sam. Vision floated down through the ceiling and switched the coffee machine on to brew several more cups of coffee. Clint was able to remain retired for this battle and so was at home on his farm. Rhodey had been in California at the time of the attack. Everyone knew not to disturb Thor the morning after a battle unless they wanted to walk in to a scene of him enthusiastically re-enacting the illustrations from the Kama Sutra with his girlfriend, Jane Foster.

 

“Just open the damn thing!” Tony blurted in frustration. Steve arched an eyebrow at Tony and glanced at Natasha who rolled her eyes and nodded for Steve to continue. Wanda lifted her head from Bucky’s arm and perched her chin on his shoulder to watch the proceedings from her seat while the brown-haired man beside her filled her cereal bowl. The rest of the team casually watched too, but Tony’s eyes were lit up in anticipation.

 

Steve ripped open the wrapping to reveal the outer box packaging of a toaster.

 

“A toaster? Why would someone, meaning you Tony, send us a _toaster_?” Steve asked aloud as he turned the box over onto its side to read the fine print describing the features.

 

“What? I don’t even eat toast,” Natasha mumbled in confusion.

 

“Maybe it shoots laser beams,” was Scott’s muffled suggestion.    

 

“Well, obviously it’s because it’s one of the most popular wedding gift choices,” Tony informed them cheerily. He lowered his voice to convey a more serious tone and expounded further: “Because, y’know, _Natalie_ , you had to have married Captain Purity here to get him to do all the immoral things you were both engaged in last night.”

 

From the lack of wild reaction, Natasha concluded that the whole team except herself and Steve must have gotten an Avengers’ Gossip Blast email.

 

“You’re getting jockstraps in your garbage disposal,” Natasha fumed. “And ink on your organic silk sheets. And you won’t be able to find a sharp knife or can opener for the foreseeable future, Stark.”

 

“Aw, come on, Natalie,” Tony whined. “I just wanted to congratulate the happy couple.”

 

“That’s so lame Tony,” Sam chuckled. “And that’s coming from me.”

 

“Yeah, you could have at least done a better job on gift selection,” Bucky drawled as he stood up to examine the toaster box. “Like I did.”

 

Bucky sashayed over to a kitchen cupboard and whipped out a gold gift bag that had silver tissue paper peeking out from it. He handed the bag to Natasha who scowled at him in thanks. Steve narrowed his eyes at his best friend and followed his progress back to his seat between Wanda and Natasha.

 

Natasha rummaged in the gift bag to pull out another box. She popped the lid off and stared at the contents before shooting her hand out to smack the back of Bucky’s head. Bucky cackled and the others pleaded for her to show them what he’d gotten. Natasha slammed the object onto the counter and the team cocked their heads to the side in unison as they examined what appeared to be a bulbous wooden effigy with Steve’s face painted on it.

 

“Open it!” Bucky exclaimed gleefully. Natasha glared at him and snatched the doll up to rip it in half. Inside was another wooden doll- this time it had Natasha’s face painted on it. The Steve doll had a tuxedo on and the Natasha doll had a white ball-gown painted on. Bucky had gotten them a bride and groom matryoshka set.

 

“That’s custom made,” Tony pointed out.

 

“Wait it gets better,” Bucky told them. He grabbed the matryoshka out of Natasha’s hands and opened the Natasha doll to reveal a little baby doll in blue swaddling clothes inside. It had a curl of red hair painted on its forehead and blue eyes. “Look, a little bitty baby. Of course, you’re obliged to name your firstborn James after me. I don’t really care if it’s a boy or a girl, and with modern naming trends it doesn’t matter. ‘James Rogers’ is happening.”

 

“Isn’t that a little insensitive considering…” Tony remarked and gestured his stomach and then pointed at Natasha, alluding to her womb.

 

“Please Stark, and you’re supposed to be a scientist,” Bucky retorted with an unimpressed expression. “They’re growing a flesh arm for me. You don’t think Nata here is taking advantage of those kinds of developments in science?”

 

“Yasha!” Natasha exclaimed. She should have known that anything she said to Wanda would be whispered in confidence to Bucky and then broadcast to the world.

 

“When the hell did you have time to get this made?” Steve queried as he held up the Steve and Natasha nesting dolls to examine their fine brushstrokes closely.

 

“Oh, I’ve been waiting for this,” Bucky grinned knowingly. Steve’s head snapped to the side to glare at his best friend.

 

“Jerk,” Steve grumbled.

 

“Slow-ass punk,” Bucky snickered.

 

“Well, I wasn’t so prepared,” Sam interjected. He stood up and cleared his throat. “But I did have time to write down my Best Man’s speech for this ceremony we weren’t invited to. I know you two decided to elope-”

 

“We’re not married!” Steve protested, but he was ignored. Natasha dropped her head into her hands and wished that the champagne glass of orange juice that Tony had just set before her was spiked with vodka. Tony filled everyone else’s hands with a full glass to toast as Sam spoke.

 

“But we need to celebrate this momentous occasion in life. Steve, you and Nat are private people,” Sam continued.

 

“Not so private as to refrain from oral sex in the public lobbies of New York with their CCTV cameras,” Scott interrupted.

 

“You have the wrong end of the stick,” Steve corrected him.

 

“But Nata had the right end,” Bucky winked.  Steve flicked him in the middle of the forehead. Bucky rubbed his forehead but continued to grin mischievously at the pair as he held his champagne glass of orange juice up.

 

“As I was saying, this is a momentous occasion in your lives together,” Sam spoke up. “And now although we’re a little miffed that y’all didn’t invite us to the ceremony-”

 

“I wanted to catch a bouquet,” Wanda grumbled jokingly.

 

“You’d have just floated it into your hands and how fair would that be? Now hush, you’re giving Bucky hives. Our bestie might be ready for the old ball and chain, but neither of us is,” Sam scolded before he got back to his speech. He opened his mouth and was interrupted again.

 

“Hopefully that’s not part of your sex play. I know this is a whole new world for you Steve, but work your way up to the kinky stuff. We don’t want to have to visit you in hospital for ball-and-chain-related penis injuries,” Tony quipped.

 

“Penises, man. You’re interrupting my lovely Best Man speech with talk of _penises_?” Sam contested.

 

“You haven’t really said much,” Scott laughed. “It’s not much of a speech.”

 

“Well, shut up all of you,” Sam instructed. “Steve and Nat, I knew you were meant to be from the moment you showed up on my doorstep looking scruffy but with an aura of coupledom about you. You getting together means I have now won several bets. I can collect and I am hereby putting in notice for leave. I will be in Atlantic City this weekend. Now look after each other, don’t kill each other etcetera. If either of you hurt the other one then we’ll leave you two to battle it out because ain’t nobody want to get in the middle of a scuffle between you two.”

 

“Especially since fighting seems to make you guys randy,” Tony added. Sam glowered at him before he resumed his speech.

 

“We’re happy for you two so congratulations on finally doing what everybody has been rolling around in agony wishing you would do,” Sam quickly spouted before anyone had the chance to interrupt him again. “Cheers!”

 

Steve and Natasha looked at the group of their friends sullenly and were about to unfurl a verbal lashing on them when Vision presented a little cake with a blond groom and redhead bride topper on top of it in front of them. The red-skinned man smiled awkwardly at them and they had to laugh. If Vision was in on the joke then they might as well take it in their stride. Thankfully, Vision had put sugar in the cake this time, and not salt. A small cake fight ensued.

 

@>-`-,----

 

After their team had gotten the urge to joke out of their system- something that Thor did not engage in once he had emerged from his sex den in search of limited edition flavours of Pop-Tarts in lieu of a brief declaration of his well wishes for their future- Natasha and Steve had retreated back to their awkward orbiting. They agreed to hang out for the rest of the day and try to go on a real date once they had gotten through the mountain of paperwork that Maria was sure to serve them with that evening.

 

The intended relaxed atmosphere planned for that afternoon was just what Natasha needed to calm her mind and regain her composure. She vowed to resume her cool persona and revert to her tried and tested tactics to ensnare Steve. Now that she knew he was definitely interested she’d have him in her web, and if she had her way then he wouldn’t be escaping for the rest of his life. She’d play with him to her impish heart’s content and show him that she was fully capable of smothering him with the loving he deserved and that her soul was bursting to bestow.

 

She decided to go back to square one and seduce him properly, not inadvertently. For that, she’d start off with showing a little skin- not any accidental touches; she had already touched him enough to be secure in the belief that she had his attention. With that she concocted a devious little scheme to taunt Steve once he emerged from the shower. He was currently sharing her suite since the windows and walls of his had taken a beating during the battle the day before and were being repaired by Tower maintenance staff.

 

Natasha selected the skimpy clothing she needed- a white camisole and red cotton hot pants would do- and brought out the appropriate equipment to set up in the little closed off indoor garden she had situated between her bedroom and the sliding doors of her balcony. When Steve Rogers walked out of her en suite bathroom she intended on being posed in the downward dog stance as she practiced her yoga. Her butt would be raised in the air and pointed at him, and she was sure she’d get the reaction she wanted from him. He might have been quiet about his preferences, but she knew that Steve was all about curves on a woman.

 

Natasha quickly braided her hair into a loose plait and pulled a few strands out to create a more alluring dishevelled appearance. She slicked on a bit of lip-stain and rolled her lips between her teeth to spread the colour. She heard the shower turn off and quickly pinched some colour into her cheeks. She hurried over to her dark green yoga matt and toed it into the correct position before clambering on to start going through a yoga sequence.

 

“Attention… guys,” the intercom blared suddenly. Natasha huffed at the sound of Tony’s voice. No one could quiet their mind if Tony was bugging them. She gathered that it must have been important if Tony was speaking and not F.R.I.D.A.Y. so Natasha paid attention. “I just wanted you to know that Scott and I were conducting an experiment and there were some unfortunate outcomes. Please don’t panic if a stampede of spiders comes towards you. Scott might be on one of them. Also, don’t stomp on them. Just… leave them alone and try not to get bitten. They’re kind of poisonous. And Emergency Services is still busy and the Avengers medical team have been assigned to help out in town. Yeah… so, um, peace out.”  

 

Natasha shook her head as she pushed up from a cobra pose into a downward facing dog. If she was correct then Steve should exit the bathroom at any moment. Natasha sank into the position, indulging in the release of tension as she waited to make an impression on her target.

 

She inhaled deeply for eight counts and exhaled deeply for another eight. Natasha inhaled again and felt something crawling up the back of her arm. Her honed reflexes prompted her to slap at the source, but recalling the earlier announcement, Natasha held back at the last moment. The abrupt cessation of her action caused her to lose her balance and Natasha collapsed onto her side as the light crawling sensation continued up her shoulder and down into her… camisole!

 

Tony had said these things were poisonous! Also, that Scott could be attached to one of them. If that was the case, then Scott was getting an up close and personal tour of her rack. As much as she had grown to like the kooky guy, that was just not on. Only one guy on the Avengers Team had clearance to explore Natasha Romanov’s topography and his name was Steve.

 

Natasha wriggled as carefully as she could, trying not to get bitten or possibly crush Scott as she rummaged down the top of her white camisole. Thankfully she wasn’t wearing a bra so she didn’t have to worry about further burrowing, but the arachnid was still questing about haphazardly under her clothes. The longer it was on her, the more likely it was that an accident would occur. She really did not want to have to be treated for a spider bite on a sensitive area- the irony would kill her. And the spider was roaming around in circles over the peak of such an area.

 

Natasha had to get it out as soon as possible and pulled the neckline of her camisole down to pop her nipple out. Unfortunately her finger got hooked on the strap and in her violent gestures she tore her camisole right down the middle. Natasha couldn’t find the spider and bounced back up to her feet to see if she could spot it further down her body or scurrying away on the floor.

 

It was as she righted herself, that she noticed she had company. Steve was standing in the doorway of her en suite with a towel wrapped around his hips and a mouth full of foamy toothpaste with his toothbrush sticking out. It wasn’t the only thing sticking out.

 

Natasha gaped helplessly as she realised that he’d just witnessed her writhing around on the floor and ripping her camisole off in front of him. She also comprehended that she was still swinging free and loose standing there with absolutely nothing covering her chest and her camisole hanging on her shoulders like a tiny waistcoat. Still a somewhat observant espionage agent- Natasha consoled herself somewhat with that knowledge- she noted that he had a pair of red earphones in his ears and his phone in his hand. Steve probably hadn’t heard the announcement. In his frame of reference, there would be no plausible reason for Natasha to be slithering about on the floor other than sheer wantonness.

 

“There was a spider!” Natasha yelled as she simultaneously clapped her hands over her breasts to cover them. She whirled around on her heels and heard Steve do the same.

 

“Shit! Sorry, Nat,” Steve yelped. “What the fuck! Aargh! Spider!”

 

“Don’t kill it!” Natasha exclaimed. She whirled back around to catch a glimpse of meaty sights that were sure to provide ample fodder for daydreams later on, and continued the full rotation of her spin to face back around away from Steve again. “It might be poisonous or have Scott attached to it.”

 

“Fucking hell!” Steve bellowed behind her. “Lang, if you’re crawling up to my nuts then I’m going to kill you! What the hell were you doing in Natasha’s top? AAAAARRGGHH!”

 

“Did it bite you?” Natasha shrieked.

 

“No, I got off- I got _it_ off,” Steve corrected himself huffily. “It’s trapped in a glass now. I don’t think Scott’s on it.”

 

“Are you sure you’re not hurt, Steve?” Natasha pleaded earnestly.

 

“What- are you offering to kiss it better?” Steve chuckled from behind her. His voice was closer and Natasha’s heart sped up in response. She turned her head slightly to ascertain just how far he was away from her when she caught his reflection in the mirror of her dressing table. He was really close and had his towel in hand as he closed the distance between them. She gasped as Steve laid a kiss on her bare shoulder and felt the brush of air against her skin as he whipped his towel around his hips again. “Maybe, let’s try get through a date first, huh?”

 

“I don’t plan this ridiculous shit, y’know,” Natasha retorted with a pout. Steve laughed out loud at her proclamation. Her shoulder tingled from the mint in the thin smear of toothpaste Steve’s lips had left there. She needed a t-shirt, ASAP!

 

@>-`-,----

 

“So where are you taking me, Steven?” Natasha beseeched her date with a flirtatious smile. She nudged his shoulder with hers as they walked down the street from where they’d parked in Harlem. Steve slipped his arm through hers and smirked down at her. Natasha mentally gave herself a pat on the back for resisting Steve’s charming grin without attacking his lips with hers for the lengthy period of time ( _years!_ ) that she had. She may have been wasting time, but at least her self-control was up to scratch.

 

He looked particularly scrumptious that night, though that could have just been her bias. Steve was dressed casually in a maroon Henley, grey sweater, blue jeans, boots, a beige scarf and a black leather motorcycle jacket. Natasha had chosen to wear a brown suede mini-skirt, a burgundy knitted polo-neck that clung to her curves and a cream fluffy faux-fur coat. The weather was pretty decent so she rounded off her ensemble with fishnet tights and dark brown velvet thigh-high boots.  

 

“Well, y’know all the restaurants still open in the city are fully booked with everyone trying to make up for their ruined Valentine’s Day plans, right?” Steve confirmed. Natasha bit her lip and nodded. She was bouncing with glee on the inside at the fact that they had gotten to go on their first date only two days after the Alien-Goo-Glue incident. “Well, me and the guys met this chef on one of our food adventures. The restaurant that he works at was damaged in the battle and they’ll only be open next week. But I managed to convince him to cook for us. He sometimes does private dinner bookings on his rooftop.”

 

“A rooftop in February, Steve? Is this a ploy to get me to snuggle up to you?” Natasha teased.

 

“I don’t think we should be talking about the use of ploys,” Steve grinned at her. Natasha reached up to bop him on the nose and feigned a pout. Steve snorted before continuing his explanation. “He takes bookings in his rooftop conservatory garden. There’s a fireplace and everything. It’s pretty cool with twinkly lights- you’ll see.”

 

“Alright then,” Natasha conceded. “I trust your judgement.”

 

Steve was right- it was pretty cool. The chef, Carl, showed them to a romantic little nook in the middle of the city. The conservatory was imaginatively compiled of reclaimed stained glass windows and had a brick fireplace on one end. It did have triple-glazing so they did not freeze. Inside, a crystal chandelier hung from the ceiling and its light was supplemented by votives and flashing solar-powered fairy lights in the shape of hummingbirds posted in the various pots around the room. A table was set elegantly with silver before the fireplace. Dormant fruit trees such as dwarf lemons, limes and grapefruit populated the space, but there were also a few clivias in pretty pots. The overall impression was bohemian. 

 

“Steve, this is amazing,” Natasha stated with a frown. They had been seated and they’d hung their outerwear over the backs of their chairs casually. The starter and accompanying wine had already been served.  “You chose this all by yourself?”

 

“Hey I do have an artistic eye and an excellent palate,” Steve protested in jest.

 

“Yeah, but everyone was under the impression that you’d suck at going on dates,” Natasha admitted.

 

“I sat through enough intervention ‘practice dates’ to know that,” Steve replied wryly. “I’m so glad I’m not Vision.”

 

“Hey, he’s got all of us helping him!” Natasha cried. She had been trying to stifle her giggles, but that had only resulted in her spilling a drop of her wine. She gathered the falling trickle from the side of her glass and plopped the droplet into her mouth.

 

“He’s going on a simulation date with Pepper, with you and Wanda whispering in his ear over comms while Tony pretends to be the waiter,” Steve summarised dryly. “It will be a disaster.”

 

“But there’s this girl in HR,” Natasha began.

 

“Naaaw!” Steve interrupted with a playful shake of his head. “You’re giving me flashbacks!”

 

“Well, we’re a meddlesome bunch. That’s how we show we care,” Natasha reasoned as she watched Steve close in to swipe a bit of cream sauce from the side of her mouth. He leaned in and gave her a soft peck over the spot before he replied.

 

“I know,” Steve sighed, “but Vision needs to discover love on his own. There’s nothing like realising you’re falling in love…”

 

“Yeah,” Natasha agreed with a sappiness she would slap any other person for showing. She was half way lost in Steve’s blue eyes, which twinkled in the candle-fairy-and-fire-light, when she suddenly realised something alarming.

 

“We _are_ a meddlesome bunch,” Natasha declared with a suspicious growl. “We, and more importantly our friends, are so nosy that we’ll do pretty much anything to satisfy our curiosity.”

 

“Naaaaaat,” Steve warned.

 

But he was too late: Natasha was already scanning their surroundings for listening devices and cameras.

 

“I can’t spot anything,” Natasha reported.

 

“Which is completely okay because there isn’t anything,” Steve insisted.

 

“But that doesn’t mean we’re out of the woods yet,” Natasha continued, ignoring Steve’s level-headed logic. She craned her head upwards and gasped. “Is that a bug on the chandelier?”

 

“Nat, bugs are attracted to lights,” Steve reminded her.

 

“It could be that darn Lang! He and Tony have been getting too _chummy_ lately,” Natasha ranted. She stood and clambered onto the table, rattling the cutlery and crockery as she did. “Oh, but I’ll get you this time, Lang. I can catch a fly with my eyes closed!”

 

“Nat, what would a bug be doing out in winter?” Steve argued as he stood up to hover uncertainly beside her.

 

“Damn it, this is a really high ceiling and a really high chandelier,” Natasha griped. “Steve, give me a boost on your shoulder.”

 

“What?!”

 

“I’m putting my knee on your shoulder,” Natasha informed him as she carried the action out.

 

“Nat, you’ll break the man’s chandelier! That’s vintage bohemian crystal, y’know,” Steve hissed.

 

“Oh, this just a rusted metal part,” Natasha declared about the thing she thought was a bug. She shifted on Steve’s shoulder and started to slip down his sweater. “Steve, I’m slipping! Hold me!”

 

“Stop wriggling,” Steve admonished as he fought a losing battle against the lack of traction between Natasha’s velvet boot and his soft cotton sweater. Natasha fumbled and slid down awkwardly, ending up with her skirt around Steve’s head and her crotch shoved in his face. Her grip was still tightly on the metal circle that the crystal of the chandelier was suspended from, the light fixture caught up in one hand while the other clutched at Steve’s covered head.

 

She could not believe she’d done it again. The only thing salvaging that moment for Natasha was the knowledge that the purple lace panties she was wearing were really beautiful.

 

“Swinging from the chandeliers, huh?” Carl, the chef, commented from the door. “That’s the first time I’ve had that kind of reaction in a customer. Though, tonight’s menu was heavy in edible aphrodisiacs.”

 

“Don’t worry, this kind of stuff just keeps happening to us,” was Steve’s muffled reply. Natasha blushed as her thighs jerked together around Steve’s head. Steve talking while his head was in her crotch was a bad idea. Natasha tried to ignore the bitch called payback, pasted a smile on her face and pretended she had some modicum of dignity and composure left.

 

@>-`-,----

 

“Here,” Bucky said as he handed Natasha two balls from the bouncy castle pit. The team had gone to Lila’s birthday party out in the country on the Saturday following Valentine’s Day. Despite the wintery weather Lila had pleaded for a bouncy castle and her parents had acquiesced after realising the little girl would probably never get the chance to have a bouncy castle at her birthday due to its February date. They’d hired a local hall and had the party indoors just so that Lila could get her wish. Clint, who organised the inflatables, went a bit overboard and got her a huge pink castle maze, a green dinosaur slide and the oddest bouncy house choice ever: a blue croc shoe. The latter was filled with colourful little round plastic balls.

 

“What’s this? Go put them back yourself,” Natasha scoffed as she held out her hand for Bucky to take back the balls. She assumed he was too lazy to put them back where they belonged.

 

“They’re both blue,” Bucky remarked. “Now you have what you want and can give my best friend a break.”

 

“Blue balls- funny, har-dee-har-har,” Natasha replied monotonously. She threw the balls at his head and Bucky snatched them up nimbly before they fell to the ground.

 

“But that is what you want, right?” Bucky grinned roguishly. “Otherwise you’d quit torturing Stevie already.”

 

“What do you know about it?” Natasha hissed. Her eyes widened as understanding dawned on her and she slapped his flesh arm. “He told you, right?! I can’t believe-”

 

“Of course he didn’t tell me anything,” Bucky assured her. “This is Steve we’re talking about. I had to find out from my sister, who knew the cousin of the model-girl from Steve’s life drawing class in art school, that he’d gone all the way with the model-girl after she pounced him one rainy afternoon. I was away at training, but that’s the kind of thing you tell your best bud immediately, right? But Steve was convinced he needed to see me face-to-face and that he had to come up with a polite-as-possible euphemism to inform me of the life-changing event, namely losing his virginity.”

 

“So then how do you know?” Natasha interrogated with a frown. Bucky was trained in espionage and was almost as good as her.

 

“I have a girlfriend who can’t help but notice the psychic disturbances of people in embarrassed panic within her vicinity,” Bucky explained nonchalantly. “You guys are hilarious. I don’t know how someone has that much awkward luck.”

 

“Shut up, Yasha,” Natasha growled. She’d started to blush and didn’t want him to tease her for it, so she stomped off towards the inflatables.

 

“Hey, Nat, could you run through the bouncy castle maze and check that all of the kids are out?” Clint asked as he corralled a group towards a smaller room where the snacks were set up. “Laura’s ready to bring out the cake and there’ll be tears if someone misses that.”

 

“Sure,” Natasha sighed. She kicked off her shoes and climbed into the bouncy house to look for stragglers. Such were the perks of being a godmother to all of the Barton children.

 

She was half way through the covered maze without any sign of a stray kid when she heard the screeching scrape of plastic being tramped down by someone approaching from the around the corner of the tunnel she was stumbling through. Naturally it was Steve.

 

“Oh, hey,” Steve beamed at her. He steadied her from flopping against him as he came to a halt right in front of her. “Laura sent me to check that the maze was kid-free.”

 

“Clint sent me to do the same. No kiddies so far,” Natasha reported.  

 

“Then that means I can steal a quick kiss,” Steve deduced.

 

“You can,” Natasha grinned. She tilted her head up to her boyfriend’s face. It wasn’t much of a stretch since he was forced to bend a bit due to the low ceiling of the bouncy castle tunnel. They pressed their lips together sweetly, intending a quick smooch, but they both got a little greedy and the kiss quickly became heated.

 

“Cake time!” Laura’s voice called in the distance. Steve and Natasha jerked apart and promptly toppled over onto the floor of the bouncy castle. The couple giggled as they tried to figure out how to unravel themselves from the tangle of limbs they formed. They had gotten stuck in a corner and couldn’t pull themselves up to their feet.

 

“Nat, stop it, you’re doing it again,” Steve snorted as Natasha tried to shimmy away with vigorous enthusiasm, but she kept sliding back to fall on top of him.

 

“What?” Natasha panted. She detected the hardening appendage poking into her rump and her mouth dropped open in understanding. “Oh.”

 

“Yeah,” Steve snickered with a wince. “I think this may be some kind of record.”

 

“I’m sorry. I’m honestly not doing it on purpose,” Natasha groaned as she carefully clawed and hopped over his body to straddle him. Steve caught her hips in his hands and flexed a small teasing thrust up against her. She pouted at him and sighed. “We’re going to have to roll or something if we want to get out of here.”

 

“Hey,” Steve grinned deviously up at her. “Would it be completely inappropriate for us to get a little frisky in this bouncy house right now?”

 

“Steven!” Natasha chastised. Her tone wasn’t too stern, and that’s probably why Steve’s grin widened and he thrust against her again. She was wearing leggings and she could feel exactly what Steve was packing in his fitted jeans. Steve curled up to kiss her neck imploringly.

 

“Would it be too _inappropriate_ , Natasha?” Steve purred against her throat.

                                                                

“It would definitely be inappropriate, Steve,” Natasha murmured. Steve’s hands travelled up under her top and his hips resumed grinding against her core. “But Lila’s already gotten her presents from us and opened them. Also no one’s allowed to jump for a little while after the cake gets cut. Don’t want kids throwing up. So they’re watching a magic show with unicorns and what not in the other room.”

 

“So we can be a little inappropriate?” Steve asked hopefully.

 

“Yes, if we keep our clothes on,” Natasha replied breathily. She whimpered and wrapped herself around him, kissing him with passion to match his ardour.

 

Across the hall, Bucky quietly shut the door behind him, blocking the view of the bouncy house that bounced on its own from any little eyes. Sam stood next to him and grudgingly handed over a hundred dollar bill.

 

“I should’ve gone to Atlantic City,” Sam muttered under his breath as Bucky took his winnings with a smile.

 

Seven minutes later, a squeak and a groan were emitted from the bouncy castle in quick succession.

 

“I want to be inappropriate again,” Steve moaned into Natasha’s hair as she continued rolling her hips against him.

 

“Me too,” Natasha agreed. “Do you think we’ll be missed?”

 

“There’s a magic show with unicorns and there’s a ton of sugar being distributed,” Steve supplied as his answer.

 

“Bucky brought his truck with the fully tinted windows right?” Natasha asked before she licked and then sucked on Steve’s earlobe.

 

“I have the keys,” Steve revealed.

 

“Aw, I was hoping to break in and hotwire it or something,” Natasha sulked. Steve covered her mouth with his for another smooch before pulling away.

 

“He’s going to be mad,” Steve stated with certainty.

 

“I’m pretty sure Bucky supports this _inappropriate_ behaviour we seem to be destined to partake in,” Natasha smirked naughtily as she hopped off her boyfriend and started to crawl towards the nearest bouncy castle exit.

 

They were very inappropriately behaved in the back seat of Bucky’s truck for most of the afternoon until they disappeared from the premises entirely. Natasha sent Bucky a text telling him that his truck had been commandeered for the greater good. Bucky had to catch a lift home with Sam. Wanda promised to make the new couple pay for a full valet of his truck, though she thought her boyfriend was being bit whiny considering that they very often used the vehicle in exactly the same capacity.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took a little longer than I promised to get out. I had to take our dog in for an op yesterday and then monitor her so that she and our other dog wouldn’t pick out her stitches afterwards. I also barely slept because I was worried about said op and she is 14 years old!
> 
> Anyway, I hope this sequel met your expectations ¯\\_(“,)_/¯
> 
> Oh, and 'matryoshka' are Russian nesting dolls.


End file.
